mawwidge, mawwidge is what bwings us together…

The other day, while I was in character on the ship a visitor asked me why I was not wearing a wedding ring though I claimed to be married. Last year, when I was playing a member of the separated, reformed church, this was an easy question to answer. A wedding ring is an unnecessary, pagan symbol, a remnant of the Popish rituals that continue to corrupt King’s church. However, things are a little more complicated as Sarah Eaton, who is most likely vaguely puritan, but still considers herself a loyal member of the Church of England.

Here is a list of the thoughts that ran through my mind in the half a second or so before I began answering:

I’m not wearing a ring because my actual ring is too modern looking (can’t say that). Is it normal for common people in England in 1620 to have wedding rings (fairly)? Could we have afforded wedding rings in Bristol just two years ago (possibly)? Is it possible that Francis Eaton agrees with the separatists on this matter (probably not)? Does  my interpretive husband wear a wedding ring at work, if at all (not sure, but even if he does, the chances of them meeting him in the village and realising he’s connected to me are slim to none)? Is there a reason why I did have one, but don’t have one anymore (ah ha!)?

Here I go. When we got married, we did have wedding rings, but before coming here, we decided to sell them so that my husband could buy a musket. Of course, those of our number who have come from the Low Countries reject the tradition entirely, which of course, I think is crazy, but our town is likely to be very small for a long time, so I expect everyone will know who is married anyway. This then evolved into a discussion about jewellery in general, which gave me the rare interpretive opportunity to talk about Bristol Diamonds. In case you were wondering, they match (if not exceed) the Indian diamonds in their brilliance and are inferior only in their hardness.

This conversation got me thinking. I love my wedding rings; not only are they visually beautiful (ten points to the hubster for that), they act as a constant reminder of the commitment we made almost five (!!!) years ago. I know that I would hate to ever have to sell them to buy a musket…but is a wedding ring a necessity to “feel” married? Last year there was at least a little outrage about the fact that Prince William chose not to have a wedding ring, like anyone in the world does not know that he got married. Perhaps Prince William is of the extreme reformed church and objects on those grounds (if that’s the case, I’ll be intrigued to watch him work when he becomes King!). Whatever his reasoning, I think we can all agree that it doesn’t lessen his commitment to his wife in any way. He said the words, he looked like he meant them, and they look very happy together.

We have been invited to five weddings this year. And there are several other couples we know who will be tying the knot in the imminent future. So in the light of all this, I have been thinking about marriage. I LOVE a good wedding. I love the invitations, the gift registry, the shower (since living in the USA), the ceremony, the flowers, the table settings, the dresses, the toasts, all of it. But do you need a good wedding in order to “feel” married? I hate the pressure society puts on couples to spend their life savings on such events. I hate the expectation people have for a good meal, an open bar, a massive pile of gifts, thank you notes…All of this, including the rings, is clutter. It might well be good, exciting, pretty clutter, but we don’t need it.

The important thing is the commitment. Here’s how I see it: It’s a choice to get married, however cluttered you wedding might be, but it’s also a choice to stay married. I know that sometimes marriages end, and sometimes it’s only one person that chooses to end it. But there is always a choice to be made. Every time I put my wedding rings on in the morning, I’m making a conscious decision to continue in my marriage. That’s why I love my rings, and that’s why I continue to wear them.

I’ll leave you with a photo of our (unworn) wedding rings, the morning of said wedding, 07.07.07 .

ps…bonus points to anyone who guesses which movie inspired the title of this blog…